up's and down's and all around's....

This post is really long....it's really for my personal journaling purpose. So you don't have to read if you don't want to...

My thoughts have been scattered all over this beautiful Sunday day. I woke up from a strange dream (I can't remember what it was, just that is was strange)and it made me feel different and weird, got ready for church and got the kids ready as well and headed out the door to get to sacrament on time for once ha ha, yes we are late for sacrament a lot.. I HATE it!!!
During the last talk the bishop got up and took over, I thought he was going to tell us that the gentlemen speaking had some things wrong and was going to correct him, I was a little nervous for the guy because if I were him I would be have been worried and embarrassed that I did something, or said something wrong. This was not the case, thankfully, poor guy.

Bishop Sansibury instead said that Country manor (a small neighborhood in our ward) was flooding really bad and there were problems. He dismissed us from church early in hopes that with everyone's help they would be able to get the flooding under control. Clarke was able to run over there to help sand bag and help evacuate family's out of their homes, as it was mandatory from the city officials. Clarke has been over there since about 10am and it is now 4pm and he just got home. He said there is still a lot to do and he felt bad for leaving but he needed to come home and pack and take a break.. They got most of the water pumped out of the streets and yards. Thankfully no one was hurt but I'm not sure about some people's homes. There was water damage but I don't know how much!!
Here is a picture of what it was like over in Country manor!!! That is Clarke's truck...


Man do I miss my husband. He has been gone a lot lately. Doing side jobs, sand bagging, helping neighbors and working. His hard work sure is appreciated by so many I'm sure. He is such a hard worker and I am proud of him and lucky to have his as my husband. I told him that he better not make any plans next weekend because we all are going somewhere just us family and spending the whole weekend together.

This morning when I got home and Clarke left I got on my phone and checked out facebook and saw that there was a post from my dear dear sweet, I would even say one of my best friends.

Let me explain a little about her before I tell you what the post said. I hope she will be Ok with it... (I'll delete it if you want me to) She has been trying to get pregnant for a long while now, like a couple of years. She has a sweet little boy named Kade who is 3, he is such a sweet and funny kid, I love reading all the funny things he says and does. She got pregnant just after I had Peyton back in August. When she told me to read her blog and watch the little movie (about how she was pregnant) she sent out I couldn't help myself and just cried in pure excitement and JOY for her and for her family.. Her and her family were thrilled to add another family member to their family. She said she was due on May 15, 2011. For Christmas they had the ultrasound lady wrap up the sex of the baby so on Christmas morning they could open it up and find out what they were having, (it was a super cute idea). They learned they would be having a baby girl. Yay!! Ever since I have known Heather she has talked about how much she has wanted a little girl someday so she could name her Hadlee, the name Hadlee is signifagant because it means "fields of Heather". My friends name just so happens to be Heather. So I was thrilled for her. As she prepared for her new little baby girl to arrive, she sowed up a cute little purple crib skirt and blanket and made the nursery as sweet and cute as ever. I haven't seen it fully done but what I did see was so nice. She is talented, I don't care what she says..haha!! Heather had a few baby showers and I was grateful I could attend one of them and see all the fun things she got from people. There were so many cute clothes and gifts, people were so generous. I was really so excited for her to dress her sweet baby girl up in these beautiful things and have her own beautiful daughter. Heather is a beautiful lady and she cute Pregnant. Heather texted me on May 2 at 10:39 am and told me that Hadlee was on her way and they were at the hospital waiting for her arrival. She told me she was hardly effaced, so I figured that it may be awhile. I hadn't heard anything from her again... I texted her hours later to see what was going on, if she was ok, or if she had the baby yet, but no response. I thought either she was just so tired and needed rest because family was there or something had gone wrong. I checked facebook and saw that Dustin, her husband, had updated his status and said that the baby was born with a cleft palette but she seemed fine. Then a little while later she was in the NICU she would stay there until they took her home on May 13th. They learned more things about their sweet Hadlee. She was born with Trisomy 13. Her body organs were in perfect condition but her brain couldn't tell her body what to do so she had a feeding tube and 24/7 care. They learned that it was a miracle that she was still with them and she probably didn't have much longer to live. That was really hard to swallow for everyone, esp them... their sweet little baby girl.

So again back to this morning at around 10:30am when I checked my facebook account this is what it said: "Our sweet little Hadlee took her last little breath at 3:48 this morning. She will be forever missed and we will remember her everyday. We know she was a special spirit sent to us to bless our lives and the lives of those around us. Thank you all for the support you've given us during these past couple weeks."
At this point I lost it and just sobbed and mourned with Heather.. I couldn't control myself and cried hysterically. It's so incredibly hard to watch someone who you love and care about so much go through something so terrifically difficult. I believe with all my heart that the lord was with Heather, Hadlee and their family 100%. There is no other way to get through something so difficult. I am still crying and trying to hold it together.. I just feel the pain she has to bear and the love she must be feeling for that sweet little Hadlee, who will be forever missed. I have no idea what she is going through but I can imagine what it must be like and I feel so bad and sad for this trial in her life.

Me and my friend Nicole were able to go visit her just this past Wednesday and I'm so glad we were able to sit down with her mom and Heather and talk to her about everything and try to comfort her.

I'm glad that she has shared so much with me and everyone it has really been a true testament of truth to me of what a family means and what it's all about and how special each moment is with your kids and any family member. Being a parent has really opened my eyes to what I need to do better and what to not take for granted. Our babies are such precious little spirits sent from heaven and we are in charge of them while they are here on earth and what I HUGE blessing that really is. There is no greater calling then to be a mother. It also has really made me think a lot about the gospel and what it really means to be a part of it and about what faith is and putting your trust in the lord.

While being around Heather you can feel that beautiful spirit that Hadlee brings, I have a whole new respect for her. I thought she was so great before but she is even greater now and so AMAZING. I admire her strength and courage to move forward with trust in the lord and faith and the knowledge that she will be with her Hadlee again and that Heavenly Father had a plan for her family. Heather you have strengthened me and same with Hadlee. I could feel her sweet spirit when I read about her, or when I was around you, Heather. You will be able to take that with you forever and touch every life you meet. I am so very proud to be your friend... I feel so very lucky, You have always been such a great friend to me and I will always be grateful for that. I love you!!!! You and your awesome family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Love You so much!!!!!

1-11-11

Today is 1-11-11 pretty sweet..

School started yesterday and I am pretty happy about it. I am taking Math 0900 and English 2010. I had to start all over with my math since it had been over two years since i had taken a math class, oh well I suck at math and could use the refresher, I' a slow kid. Maybe this English course will help me with my writing skills, I am lacking quite a bit..But I am tired right now and being super lazy so whatev...I am actually excited to go back even though there is a LOT of work ahead of me I know I can do it and I know it will be well worth my time. I had to go to work right after school yesterday because I was filling in for someone who was sick. After my day was over and I went home I thought to myself "man I am so glad I made the decision to go PRN at work" (prn means as neededbut I only work wed, and right now I wish I didnt' even do that- I LOVE LOVE LOVE being home...but it is nice to get out and see my coworkers once and a while) There is no way I would be able to do that again-work full time and go to school with my two kids, My kids are the ones who get neglected and that is totally backwards. I just remember the stress of being at work when I wished I was at home with my family or at home working on my homework while the kids slept. and how bad I felt for leaving them and being away from them killed me..Either way I am a HOME body. I know Brookie is too because today at the doc she kept saying home, home home before the doc even came in the room. Ps Brookie is now TWO (pic and story to come later) Yeah my baby is TWO, weird. She weighs 29 Lbs and is 35 inches tall. She is such a cutie. The doc told me that he is very impressed with her and that she is above average in her speech. He said she was on the right track and doing awesome. She is the best thing ever.

1-1-11 Happy New Year peeps

WoW Lada... flip I have seriously been so busy.. I think about my blog often, however sitting down and actually posting my life stories is another thing.. It's a new Year So Happy New Year everyone...one of my new year's resolution is to Blog More. Lets see if I can do it. I have so much to catch up on so I better get going.

Update on life right now... I just changed my working status to PRN instead of full time. Yeah we took a HUGE leap of faith and are praying the lord will take care of us as we know it is the best thing for our family for me to stay home more with the most adorable kids in the whole world. There is seriously no where else I would rather be. More to come later with LOTS of picture.

5 years

Today is our 5th year anniversary. WOW!!! 5 years....that seem like such a long time when you say out loud, but it seems like I have been with my sweetie for forever and not just 5 years. We have done so many wonderful things in the time that we have been married. We have visited family a lot, in Manti, Richmond, St. George, Idaho, Cali, Disneyland (probably the most exciting so far haha) and we even took a crazy trip to Las Vegas for our ann last year.. it is really the only trip we have taken for an anniversary or even a honeymoon.
Man someday we will get our honeymoon trip...haha No it's ok we had fun camping at Tony's Grove up Logan Canyon for out honeymoon.. we were the only ones there. Anyway.. This year we wanted to do something super fun because it was our FIFTH anniversary.. I mean that is kind of huge, right? Well the only huge thing we will be doing this year is leaving our 6 week old baby boy with the inlaws OVERNIGHT.. haha that is pretty huge. Maybe next year we can go somewhere even more huge (is that even a word) with Clarke Graduating from Grad school and such.. and maybe just maybe I'll get in the Nursing Program..cross your fingers for me.. Ok Umm I am getting way off course here.. LOL
I want my awesome husband to know how much I have grown over these years with him by my side. He has taught me so many wonderful lessons and so many things I couldn't do without. I have become a better person, MOTHER, wife, friend, sister, and most of all a daughter of god because of you babe.
I watch you with the kids and think man I married the right person... look at how those kids just LOVE you, look at how patient and kind and funny you are with them. I'm sometimes to busy to stop and do things that you do.. but I guess that is why we have different roles.
Babe you have become such a WONDERFUL father and person yourself. You work SO SO hard for us and I am so very grateful for that.
Being married to my best friend is the best thing in the whole world. I'm so happy to be married to you for forever. You make me laugh all the time..well most of the time. You understand me and are so patient with me, you help me with school so I can understand it better and are so so patient with to wait for me to get it and that is HUGE.
I love you babe so so much You are the BEST thing that ever happened to me and I couldn't be more happy to have found you in my life. Even from the first time I met you I was so comfortable with you, every time we hung out we were never shy and it was never awkward.. we knew from the beginning.
I hope the next, how ever many years to come, are even better and we continue to share our love for one another.
LOVE YOU BABE!! So....This anniversary turned out to be one of the BEST's so far... Clarke seriously seriously surprised me with the best gift ever.. he took me on a helicopter ride.. WHAT?? I had absolutely NO idea.... He just said we are going to dinner and just kept driving I thought he was headed to Hamiltons (since it's a tradition of ours, we go ever year) since we were headed in that direction... Little did I know he had other plans up his sleeve. We ended up at the Logan airport, I have never ever been more surprised in my whole life. I still had no idea what was going on but I knew we had to be flying somewhere.. at first I thought we were flying to salt lake for dinner and sleeping over night but it was even better, we walked around the corner of the building and there was a helicopter waiting for us... I was freaking out inside I think I cried.. HELLO what kind of husband did I marry.. only the best ever!!! We flew all over logan, we went up green canyon first and flew in the mtn went over Tony's Grove nd went out thro Providence Canyon.. It was so dang cool to be above everything and see what it looked like from above esp the temple. I had the best time. After the heli ride we did go to dinner at Hamiltions. So yummy. After that we went to the store to get some goodies and headed to the anniversary Inn. We stayed in the Vegas nights room. It was way cool. since we went to Las Veas last year Clarke thought it would be a nice surprise for me, it was!! We had a great 5th year anniversary! Thank you to mom and dad Alder and Celeste for watching our kids we really appreciate it!!

ONE MONTH

Peyton is one month today!! WOW! Where does time go? I can't believe it's been a month. Peyton is such a good baby and we LOVE him so much. Brookie can't get enough of him, she loves her baby brother.
He is getting so strong and growing a ton. He sleeps for about 6 hours at night...which is so awesome he has been doing this for about 1 week or so, maybe longer. Over all he has always been a really good sleeper.. We can't wait to see what the coming months will bring..

PRIVATE

Hey everyone..
I am going to be making my blog private really soon. Leave me your e-mail if you would like to follow my blog still. Thanks a million!!

BABY PEYTON

Peyton Clarke Alder
born August 16, 2010 12:36pm
7lbs 4oz 21in

We are so happy he is FINALLY here.



I had been having little contractions all day on Sunday the 15th, I started timing them but they weren't really consistent so I just went about my mary day.. I woke up at 5am on Monday morning and was having more contractions, not really painful just enough to catch my attention. I fell back asleep then woke back up at 5:30ish and felt a huge jolt in my belly and it kinda freaked me out, then I had to pee, as I was thinking about getting up I felt this huge gush of water, like I was peeing my pants...but no I was not peeing my pants, thankfully, haha my water BROKE.. Yay!! I was a little scared at first I was shaking. I leaned over to Clarke and said Clarke I think my water just broke..there was water all over our bed and the floor I couldn't get it to stop. I called Labor and Delivery and talked to my friend Kirsha and she told me to come in. So we packed up our stuff and headed out. Luckly Clarke's brothers finance was staying at our house so she watched Brooklyn for us that day and his brother stayed home from work. I got to the hospital and saw Dr. Kirkman sitting their with Kirsha and Diana. He said so I heard a rumor and I said yes it's true YAY. So I got settled in got my IV and sat there and waited. When my Nurse (Wendy-who was the best Nurse ever..and I mean the BEST) first checked me I was at a 4. Dr. Kirkman wanted to start me on petocin because I had StrepB and he was worried about the risk of infection if my labor was prolonged. But I wanted to possibly have this baby naturally and didn't want to start on that just yet. The contractions were strong but not to bad I could handle it for the time being. I progressed to a 5 and they were getting more and more intense and Wendy said that I could only get an epdural between 8:30 and 9:30am because the Anesthesiologist was super busy that day and wouldn't be able to come back. So I sat and thought about it A LOT.. I decided to get one because I was really nervous that it would hurt A LOT and I wouldn't be able to take the pain. I still wanted to feel something though so he gave me the lowest dose he could and I could push the button if I wanted to. I could feel my contractions and I knew what muscles to use to push and I could lift my legs..it was the PERFECT labor. The nurse started the petocin to get things moving and peyton's heart rate dropped so fast...apparently my babies don't like the petocin because the same thing happened to Brooklyn. I started moving along and about 11ish my nurse checked me and said I was at an 8 she said that if I felt a huge amount of pressure down in my tail bone like I have to pooh then that means I am ready to start pushing.. she left the room and not even 15 mins later I felt that huge amount of pressure I wasn't sure if that was it or not but then it happened again and so I called her back in and she checked me and I was at a 10. I went from an 8 to a 10 in 15 mins...way fast.. so we started pushing on every contraction..so I pushed for about an hour and a half at about every 5 or 10 mins. It was so awesome to be able to feel the contractions and to know when to push and how to push.. I felt his head come out and the placenta and him stitching me up I just didn't feel the pain. IT was AWESOME. They put Peyton on my belly when he first came out that was so special. He was so cute and so precious. The nurses got him all cleaned up then brought him back to me. I had him try nursing and the boy just lached right on, He can suck...I was like wow boy.. Brooklyn never did that either.. He is a really good eater and a good baby.
after I gave birth I immediately wanted grape juice I think I had like 4 or 5 glasses of it before they took my upstairs to recovery. I also was craving Jimmy Johns.. now that I didn't have to heat up my meat I was super excited to get my sandwich... I was able to stand enough to get in a wheelchair. That was awesome. I slept most of the rest of the day and Clarke went and picked up Brooklyn. When they got back I don't think Brooklyn really knew what was going on, she kept saying baby baby. She didn't really want much to do with him for a while. It took her a couple of days of getting used to him. At home now she constantly asks about the baby if she can't see him or if he is eating or whatever he is doing she is just curious... she loves him to pieces.. She always wants to hold him and she gives him kisses 24/7. It's the cutest darn thing in the world. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being a MOM, best JOB in the world.. I want tons of these sweet little things. They make me smile everyday I can't express my LOVE for both of them. Watching Brooklyn with him and as she grows into her own little person I just grow more and more LOVE for her as well. I just look at her and Peyton and think Gosh I have such great kids and sweet little hearts. Brooklyn is so kind (most of the time) to everyone. She loves people and says hi over and over again...she is just a happy happy little girl. Peyton is just so content with whatever is going on. He is such a little tropper. When he is hungry he will let you know and he sure knows how to use those lungs.
I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father who has blessed Clarke and I with such beautiful babies. They truly are sent from heaven.
Thank you for all of your kindness and congrats. we really appreciate you all and love you all.

Prego pictures from the top.....

39 weeks

38 and a half weeks

38 weeks

37 weeks

34 weeks

28 weeks

26 weeks

24 weeks

22 weeks

20 weeks

19 weeks

15 weeks


Man I miss my little belly.. Look at those pants... I totally could wear them. Only like a week and a half left.. just looking at these pictures again makes me hurt a little to be back to that size.. it's all worth it..it's all worth it..

19 Months old

Brooklyn is 19 months today.. flip time goes by so fast. Brooklyn is like a little sponge, she repeats everything we say or at least tries to. she is dang cute and we couldn't be more happy to have her in our life. She is the cutest thing EVER.

HELP

HOW DO I FIX MY BLOG SO THAT MY BACKGROUND STAYS ON HERE??? ANYONE KNOW

A powerful life and wonderful blessings to last a lifetime

I was able to attend a dear friend of mine, Taryn Palmer's dad, Scott Hansen's funeral this past Thursday in Pocatello, ID. It was really such a beautiful funeral. I brought my sweet little girl with me and went with a few of my other dear friends, I was able to listen to most of it and really enjoy the things that were said about Taryn's dad. He lived a very amazing and wonderful life. If only we all had a father like him. He was more then just a father though, he was a true man of god. I only met him a couple of times and each time I saw him he always seemed happy with his life and content with the moment. You could look at him and see his shining countenance, you knew at that moment that he was a GREAT guy. I just remember always feeling that way when I saw or heard stories about him. I have heard so much about him and his life through out the days that I have known Taryn and throughout this week. I was grateful that I was able to attend her sweet father's funeral and got to experience tons of emotions and feelings of such gratitude, not only for my own dear family but for the amazingly true gospel here on this earth that gives us the knowledge that not only Taryn and her sweet family but mine and yours will again meat their loved ones again. That means Taryn and her family will see their father once again. I couldn't be more in love with this gospel and more grateful to be apart of it and to have it in my life and to know that I will also be with my family for eternity someday.
Taryn's parents bishop got up and spoke he said that Taryn's family had a saying hanging in their kitchen that said BECAUSE NICE MATTERS I think is right... I couldn't agree more. makes me want to be a nicer person and be a better person, wife, mother and friend. Because of the things he said and the way I felt, If I wasn't a member I think I honestly would have asked where to sign me up for such beautiful promises and sacred teachings. He did such an amazing job with bearing of his testimony it brought me to tears I have not shed in such along time. I felt the spirit of the lord wrap his arms around me as I watched my little girl play and make lots of noise all while trying to listen all at the same time. I couldn't be more blessed to have the wonderful things in my life. I am also truly blessed to have such AMAZING FRIENDS in my life. I really don't know where I would be without them and their amazing examples throughout the years I have known them. I always look to them for strength, even if they don't always know, I am really impressed with who they are and what they stand for and what they have become. I LOVE YOU!!!

I really just wanted to say that I am grateful for my sweet husband who is so generous and NICE and everything I cherish, I am grateful for my sweet little baby girl who really isn't a baby any more. She is 19 months old and soon to be a big sister to a baby brother whom I also could not be more grateful for. It is truly a miracle to have a beautiful little life and spirit growing inside of you. To feel it's every move, and I mean EVERY move, is such an amazing experience. I have friends and people who I have met along this journey in my life who have struggled with having the opportunity to get pregnant and experience those wonderful things that can not come in any other form, that being said it makes me hold on to those experiences dearly to my heart. I am at a point now where I am ready to be done with this pregnancy but also am enjoying the fact that there is a little baby still living inside me right now who probably just met Scott Hansen and is saying hello and goodbye to loved ones, the veil is so thin and to think that I have been entrusted by our dear savior and lord to take care of one of his sweet children is one of the greatest blessings and compliments I could EVER receive.

Brooklyn is 18 months today

Wow where did the time go. I haven't updated my blog in like a century, I'm having my second baby in less then 6 weeks and my baby girl is 18 months old.. I have enjoyed most of every min with my sweet little girl. She is super fun and makes me laugh allthe time. Lately when she wakes up she points to the window and says what's that over and over again. Brooklyn says so many things and does so many things. I can't even count them all. I wish I could remember them all too. but here are a few of the things I can remember.

-says hi and bye
please and thank you
momma and dadda and knows exactly who we are
yes and no
yum
bike
poof
truck
-trys to say buckle
luv you
amen
jesus
bath
cheese
whats that
puppy
baby
hot
nanna (banana)
uh oh
juice
drink
bird
d (for uncle Derek)
B (for Bri..me LOL )
gampa or papa
cracker
cookie
the letter Y - I know random- we have those foam letters that go in the bath and I taught her how to say Y and now she thinks all the foam letters are "Y" it's pretty cute.
I'm sure there is more but that is all Clarke and I could come up with right now.. She is so smart
She knows there is a baby in my belly. I have been pointing to my belly for a while now and saying baby and she will come over and point at it and say baby and now I ask her what is in mommas tummy and she says baby and comes over and lifts up my shirt and points at it. It's super cute.
She knows how to get on and off of her bike.
she is obsessed with opening and closing any door. She loves to help daddy in the garage and doesn't mind getting all dirty. She picks ball caps (hats) and puts them on backwards. so stinkin cute. I will post pictures later.
Even tho I wanted this post to be about mostly Brooklyn I better say some other things to so yo peps don't get so bored. Maybe it's to late for that haha
This baby is growing so fast and moves around like no ones business. I love it, well most of the time. He is everywhere but mostly hangs out on the right, where Brooklyn did. He thinks it's just awesome to kick my in the groin, esp when I am walking around. Well I need to go to bed I will continue this post along with adding some pictures later..

IT'S A............

We are (LATE) excited to announce that we are having a BOY!!
We are so excited and a little bit nervous, of course. All we know is girl. But like anything new you just kinda take everyone's advice and make it your own and learn through trial and error.
I can't find the CD with all the ultrasound pictures on it so this will have to do... and most of you already know the news and have known for a while... I'm just a little slow with the whole Blogging Business.

A new addition

Most of you know already but some of you who don't facebook or talk to me much don't know But Brooklyn is going to be a BIG sister. Yup that is right we are expecting. I am due Aug 13th. So I am about 16 weeks along. Great news is that I can still fit into my pants..but I seem to be getting more and more fat. My belly is in that in between stage and that may be why I don't feel so pretty these days. At least Clarke tells me everyday that I am gorgeous.. that makes my day. I had heard that one your second pregnancy you show a lot soonier then you did the first time and I can honestly say I believe that is 100% true.
We are mostly excited but very very nervous since we will both still be in school and working full time. What in the world do you do with two kids in daycare and work, school and all the rest of the stuff in this hectic but awesome life. We are struggling with the idea of me quitting my job and living off of our savings and student loans or me trying to find a night job.
I can't help but feel a sense of gratitude for this wonderful baby who is growing inside of me. It has been a huge roller coaster for the last couple of months just trying to get the grasp of it all. There are so many of my friends who are struggling with trying to get pregnant right now and here I am "struggling" with the fact that I am pregnant and wondering how I will do it all. That sounds a little selfish. I know that heavenly father has a plan for all of us and knows what is best for us and when the right time is for our family to come to us on this earth and join us. I am so grateful that I can get pregnant and give birth and raise a family of my own. There is no better calling then that of a Mother.
Here is an ultra sound picture for your viewing pleasure.

a new me...

So I really really needed a hair trim but instead of just getting a trim I got a whole new look. I had them cut off 13 inches...what the, are you for real? That is a ton of hair. I honestly wasn't really even that sad after I actually really liked it. I knew it would grow back and I even thought of going shorter and might in the near future, but one step at a time. I really want to get it highlighted to, I think it could use some more style to it or color, something. It is much easier to style, only thing is sometimes I feel like a little girl and not so pretty. Lately I have been feeling a little down in the dumps because I don't feel pretty, I'm sure it's just a phase.. anyway blah blah LOL here are the before and after pictures.

Before

After