Radiate within

The most beautiful thing in this world is the love of our savior and brother Jesus Christ and our most loving heavenly father. If we only knew how much love there was to give or feel we would die of happiness I'm sure of it!! On Sunday in Gospel Doctrine we talked about the Plan of Salvation and touched mostly on the spirit world after death and what happens there and where the spirit world is. It is here on earth. How wonderful to know that our loved ones and our Heavenly Father are just a heart beat away. A gentleman in our class told of a personal story he had as a little kid. He fell down and hurt his head really bad and was unconscious for a while. He remembers looking down at himself about 3 feet above and hearing the words "it's not your time yet". He said the feelings he had are unlike anything he has ever felt here on earth and that the human body could not handle nor comprehend the greatness of the power it holds. at that moment I felt as much joy and peace my body could handle at that moment. I will never forget how I felt. I wanted it to last forever, but knew that would not be so. I do know however, that it will come back and I will be able to feel my saviors love radiate within me as long as I stay close to the Lord. He is most close to us when we pray and read our scriptures and go to the temple, our sec home on earth. I'm not the best writer and have a hard time using the right words to describe my feelings, even when I'm talking to others I have a hard time expressing my thoughts, anyone who knows me will find this to be true. My husband even adores me for it.. haha While scrolling thro facebook this morning I came across one of my dear friends postings. last night she posted a pic of Pres. Monson sitting 4 people over from her and her husband at the Jazz game in Salt Lake City, Utah. She was in awe and speechless. So her post this morning was about how after the game they were able to talk to him. Here is her post: "11-13-13. The night we met the prophet President Thomas S. Monson. Words cannot describe the overwhelming spirit I felt as the prophet walked up to me and looked into my baby's eyes, caressed her cheek, held her sweet hand and asked the name of this pretty baby-I responded in the best, most righteous voice I could muster up, a big fat "UMMM.... oh Kylee, I mean no no it's Addy." "Annie!" He replied energetically "we have lots of Annie's in our family!" Then his sweet daughter (Ann m. Dibbs) whose standing with us says "no dad, not annie it's Addy!" I pretty much cried the entire 33 seconds I stood in his presence. He is truly a man of God and he radiates light and hope and goodness. He patted Addy's hand one last time and jokingly said "yep, I'm a lady lover." as he walked away. Haha! I will never forget this amazing night-the whole experience will be blogged soon! #presidentmonson #thankyoutoadamandjanaforthetickets #unforgettablenight #itshouldalsobementionedhisdaughterwentthroughherfairshareofcokezeros #bestnightever" -Angela Bricker Just reading this I could feel that love, the radiance of the experience filled my heart and chills ran thro my whole body. I could feel the spirit and power behind this wonderful Prophet of God and his love for all people here on earth. He truly is a prophet of God and radiates gods love for all his children. How could this not be so? I felt it just by reading my beautifully wonderful sweet dear friends post. It's incredibly powerful and I don't want to go a day without feeling the love of our savoir and the love he has for everyone, esp. my children. The love I feel at times and felt this morning and feeling at this exact moment is enough to make one pass out. I almost feel like that could happen at any given moment. the spirit is real and strong and radiates in each one of us. I want to be the best I can, to live with God again!!!! I have SOOO many friends, leaders, and acquaintances that I have had throughout the years who have been and still are such amazing examples to me of what love really is and what true friendship is. I know that it is because they have the glorious spirit of their Heavenly Father radiating within their souls and in turn touches others for good!!

12-12-12 This will never happen again in our life time or ever.. I love dates like this..just fun!!Today we all got up I cleaned the kids played and watched tv. I made yummy white chocolate peppermint popcorn for my activity days girls,went to activity days made ornaments, had Papa Murphy's for dinner... Thank heavens there is one in ID. Talked on the phone for an hour and forty mins to one of my best-est friend ever, Randi Wallace. She always the best things to say and knows just what I need to hear. Thanks girl. I love my family SOO much..Happy 12-12-12

The things Brookie says

Clarke took Brookie to the bathroom and she was in the stall by herself and Clarke was out waiting for her and had to go to the bathroom too. So he was doing his thing and Brookie said "Daddy you going potty too" Clarke said "Yea" she then said "with your tail, your crocodile tail?" Sep. 2012

Leap Day

It's a Leap year.. I just wanted to post something on Leap day. After all it only comes around every 4 years. I'm curious as to why there are leap years.. I don't remember if I ever learned why we have an extra day every 4 years.
On another note the last two nights I have been have the weirdest, craziest dreams.


I will come back and finish this post later.....

Birthday

It's my birthday. Wahoo. I'm now 27 years old. SOO SOO weird
I just wanted to post something on my bday.

WoRST Blogger EVER!!!

I am the absolute WORST blogger EVER!!! When I'm in school I just get so overwelmed with the thought of documenting all our lives experiences small or big, mostly because I am SOO behind. And I already do homework 24/7 or study so it's just hard for me to sit here and write some more and think of all the fun stuff we have been up to.. I'm sure it's just pure laziness..haha I hate it..I'm trying to be better...... After school is over next week I think I plan on taking it day by day to catch up so I can be current so it wont be such an ordeal to keep track of our awesome lives.. LOL

Freebies2deals.com

One of the BEST deals I have received from visiting Freebies2deals.com is the diaper deals and photo deals. Freebies2deals is always updating all the great deals out there. The diapers were from amazon, but freebies helps you step by step in how to get the best price with coupon codes and stuff.. It's the best!!

Go to Freebies2deals.com and find all your deals too!! It's awesome!!!

fitness in the works

I'm writing this for my records really and so I can look back and remember my feelings and struggles to help me get through the tough times while trying to achieve my goals. Sorry it's a little long, you don't have to read if you don't want to.

I have been struggling with my weight for a good while now...a while being like 3 or so years. I guess since I started having kids, but this goes even before the kids. I blame the birth control. Ever since I started taking that pill I gained like 25 pounds or so and haven't really been able to get it off. Doctors and nurses will say that it doesn't directly effect your weight but I disagree, it messes with your metabolism and hormones and that in turn effects your weight and whole body outlook. I'm determined to get my metabolism back to normal or a somewhat normal state.

During 2009 I started exercising after I had Brooklyn, I really wanted to get into shape so I went to the gym a few times a week and ran on the tredmill and also joined a boot camp. I lost like 15 pounds which was huge. I felt great and my clothes were fitting me comfortably. I then learned I was pregnant again with Peyton, I was thrilled of course and kept on working out to keep my body in good shape. I was able to work out until I was about 7 months along and then it just became to painful to do much so I gave it a break. When Peyton was 8 weeks old, which was in Sep/Oct of 2010 I started running again and was able to run 2 miles, 3 days in a row with no problem. I tried to make sure that I drank enough water and ate enough to keep up with my working body so I could supply Peyton with enough milk, but after the 3rd day of running I didn't have enough after all to feed the poor little man. I got really freaked out and stopped working out which was wasn't the best solution for myself but it was the best thing for Peyton. I had a little bit of a hard time getting my milk back. But I ate lots of oatmeal, anything with yeast, and drank rootbeer and Peyton seemed to be just fine with what I had to offer. Because I stopped working out and have always heard to eat 500 extra calories a day to help feed the babe, I gained all the weight back from the year before. I'm pretty sure it was because I was so paranoid so I over ate. I was doing it all wrong. I was ok with it at the time though because it was the best thing for Peyton, So I thought. I later learned that as long as I ate good meals 6 times a day then my body will adjust and should make all it needs for my baby. But everyone's body is different.

In January I signed up for a boot camp that turned out to be totally awesome, I didn't really see any results but it helped to watch what I ate. I ate good and healthy meals but I had a hard time keeping the sugar out of my diet and still do. I don't think I over do it but it's just enough to keep me from reaching my goal. I've got to get some will power. after the boot camp was over I started a awesome work out at Icon. It has given me the most results so far. I lost 12 inches off my waist and keep losing inches just not much weight, I am really not to concerned about the weight anymore just the inches and how I feel and look. The only problem with me and the workout is it is at 6:30am and I have had a hard time getting up early because I stay up to late for school or because i want to spend more time with Clarke. I'm supposed to go 3 times a week and I usually only go once or twice but in the last 3 weeks I haven't gone at all. Clarke was gone for the week for scout camp and to Vernal for work so that means no early morning work outs. I also started watching my friends little girl who is 8, she gets to my house at 3:45am so I wake up to make sure she gets in ok and then I go back to sleep but I have no desire to get back up at 6am so I just sleep in and try to go running at night.
Lately I have not been trying to hard so it's my own fault. If I want results then I have to put the work into it and work really hard. This last week on Wed. I got sick and it kind of stuck with me everyday since. My stomach and appetite just hasn't been the same. I'm not sure if I still have a bug or what. I took a pregnancy test so I know I'm not pregnant. I just hope it goes away. I have made a new goal and am going to be strict with myself with the help from Clarke, ICON, and my new friend Kayla. I am determined to lose weight and feel good about myself again. I hate my arms, bum, thighs, stomach, shoulders, chest, chin, and face. the only thing I like about my body right now is my calves, feet and hands. I hate pictures of me too. I'm not depressed about it or anything, I try not to let it get me down because only I can change it and I know what I need to do to change it. Those are just some things that I really am not happy with right now. Someday I hope to be happy with how I look again and I know it will happen!!

Summa summa summa school.....

I was so excited to start summer school, even though I just barely got through a long 4 months of hard work during spring semester. Was I crazy?? Yes, I think just maybe so!! Honestly I have really enjoyed my classes this summer and what I have learned. I haven't so much enjoyed turning down friends offers to join them at the pool or the park and I mostly haven't enjoyed keeping my kids locked up inside because I had to finish my homework and study for my big tests. It hasn't been as bad as it sounds though. I have probably neglected my homework more then my kids, which is a good thing, right?? Depends on how you look at it, I guess!!! I know there is nothing more important then my family and I remind myself I am doing this for them and myself. One day it will all pay off!!

My Microbiology class is finally over and I am hoping for a good grade. LOVED the class. Next week will be the last week of class for me until August 25th when Fall semester starts up. Hopefully I wont have to ever take Biology 1010 ever again.. it was OK while it lasted but it's a dang good thing it's almost over. I don't think I will go to summer school ever again, don't quote me on that though.. I may change my crazy mind someday! We miss out on so much that I miss the whole point of what summer is for. Summer is supposed to be a break from school, duh, apparently I missed the memo on that, obviously!! LOL Oh well at least I have two more classes out of the way. I only have two more semesters left and then I will have my associates degree and will be able to apply for the Nursing program, WAHOO. I am thrilled and can not wait for that day!! My stomach is turning as we speak just thinking about it, It is my DREAM!! well besides, of course being a mom, which is the BEST!!

Don't worry, even though from what you have read it seems like I have totally neglected my kids for some school work, this just isn't completely true. haha I have done quite a bit with them and have tried to keep them the most important thing insight. We have gone to the pool a few times, played outside with friends, colored with sidewalk chalk, gone for walks, gone to Bear Lake, gone to lots of parades, seen fireworks, saw LOTS of awesome cars at the Cruise in, played in the backyard, gone on some bike rides, and next weekend it is the Cache County Fair and Rodeo; My favorite summer activity. I look forward to this time of year every year. The following weekend we are headed to Bear Lake with my family for some camping and swimming, whoop whoop, can't wait!!

So even though this summer has been a summer full of momma studying in the back room, study groups, tests, watching lots of TV shows and some outside time we have had a great one and it's still not over...Hooray!! Next summer will be even better too, Can't wait!!

A LOT of catching up to do.....

I just looked thro all the pictures I took from Sep....(which is where i need to start off from.....since I have neglected posting about our life since..except for the one about my totally AWESOME friend Heather....) and there are A LOT.. I am the WORST blogger in all of history.. So for the next little while, if I can get away from studying and kiddos I will be working to catch up on this pretty little thing....check back often for fun little "old news" posts...yippee!!!

up's and down's and all around's....

This post is really long....it's really for my personal journaling purpose. So you don't have to read if you don't want to...

My thoughts have been scattered all over this beautiful Sunday day. I woke up from a strange dream (I can't remember what it was, just that is was strange)and it made me feel different and weird, got ready for church and got the kids ready as well and headed out the door to get to sacrament on time for once ha ha, yes we are late for sacrament a lot.. I HATE it!!!
During the last talk the bishop got up and took over, I thought he was going to tell us that the gentlemen speaking had some things wrong and was going to correct him, I was a little nervous for the guy because if I were him I would be have been worried and embarrassed that I did something, or said something wrong. This was not the case, thankfully, poor guy.

Bishop Sansibury instead said that Country manor (a small neighborhood in our ward) was flooding really bad and there were problems. He dismissed us from church early in hopes that with everyone's help they would be able to get the flooding under control. Clarke was able to run over there to help sand bag and help evacuate family's out of their homes, as it was mandatory from the city officials. Clarke has been over there since about 10am and it is now 4pm and he just got home. He said there is still a lot to do and he felt bad for leaving but he needed to come home and pack and take a break.. They got most of the water pumped out of the streets and yards. Thankfully no one was hurt but I'm not sure about some people's homes. There was water damage but I don't know how much!!
Here is a picture of what it was like over in Country manor!!! That is Clarke's truck...


Man do I miss my husband. He has been gone a lot lately. Doing side jobs, sand bagging, helping neighbors and working. His hard work sure is appreciated by so many I'm sure. He is such a hard worker and I am proud of him and lucky to have his as my husband. I told him that he better not make any plans next weekend because we all are going somewhere just us family and spending the whole weekend together.

This morning when I got home and Clarke left I got on my phone and checked out facebook and saw that there was a post from my dear dear sweet, I would even say one of my best friends.

Let me explain a little about her before I tell you what the post said. I hope she will be Ok with it... (I'll delete it if you want me to) She has been trying to get pregnant for a long while now, like a couple of years. She has a sweet little boy named Kade who is 3, he is such a sweet and funny kid, I love reading all the funny things he says and does. She got pregnant just after I had Peyton back in August. When she told me to read her blog and watch the little movie (about how she was pregnant) she sent out I couldn't help myself and just cried in pure excitement and JOY for her and for her family.. Her and her family were thrilled to add another family member to their family. She said she was due on May 15, 2011. For Christmas they had the ultrasound lady wrap up the sex of the baby so on Christmas morning they could open it up and find out what they were having, (it was a super cute idea). They learned they would be having a baby girl. Yay!! Ever since I have known Heather she has talked about how much she has wanted a little girl someday so she could name her Hadlee, the name Hadlee is signifagant because it means "fields of Heather". My friends name just so happens to be Heather. So I was thrilled for her. As she prepared for her new little baby girl to arrive, she sowed up a cute little purple crib skirt and blanket and made the nursery as sweet and cute as ever. I haven't seen it fully done but what I did see was so nice. She is talented, I don't care what she says..haha!! Heather had a few baby showers and I was grateful I could attend one of them and see all the fun things she got from people. There were so many cute clothes and gifts, people were so generous. I was really so excited for her to dress her sweet baby girl up in these beautiful things and have her own beautiful daughter. Heather is a beautiful lady and she cute Pregnant. Heather texted me on May 2 at 10:39 am and told me that Hadlee was on her way and they were at the hospital waiting for her arrival. She told me she was hardly effaced, so I figured that it may be awhile. I hadn't heard anything from her again... I texted her hours later to see what was going on, if she was ok, or if she had the baby yet, but no response. I thought either she was just so tired and needed rest because family was there or something had gone wrong. I checked facebook and saw that Dustin, her husband, had updated his status and said that the baby was born with a cleft palette but she seemed fine. Then a little while later she was in the NICU she would stay there until they took her home on May 13th. They learned more things about their sweet Hadlee. She was born with Trisomy 13. Her body organs were in perfect condition but her brain couldn't tell her body what to do so she had a feeding tube and 24/7 care. They learned that it was a miracle that she was still with them and she probably didn't have much longer to live. That was really hard to swallow for everyone, esp them... their sweet little baby girl.

So again back to this morning at around 10:30am when I checked my facebook account this is what it said: "Our sweet little Hadlee took her last little breath at 3:48 this morning. She will be forever missed and we will remember her everyday. We know she was a special spirit sent to us to bless our lives and the lives of those around us. Thank you all for the support you've given us during these past couple weeks."
At this point I lost it and just sobbed and mourned with Heather.. I couldn't control myself and cried hysterically. It's so incredibly hard to watch someone who you love and care about so much go through something so terrifically difficult. I believe with all my heart that the lord was with Heather, Hadlee and their family 100%. There is no other way to get through something so difficult. I am still crying and trying to hold it together.. I just feel the pain she has to bear and the love she must be feeling for that sweet little Hadlee, who will be forever missed. I have no idea what she is going through but I can imagine what it must be like and I feel so bad and sad for this trial in her life.

Me and my friend Nicole were able to go visit her just this past Wednesday and I'm so glad we were able to sit down with her mom and Heather and talk to her about everything and try to comfort her.

I'm glad that she has shared so much with me and everyone it has really been a true testament of truth to me of what a family means and what it's all about and how special each moment is with your kids and any family member. Being a parent has really opened my eyes to what I need to do better and what to not take for granted. Our babies are such precious little spirits sent from heaven and we are in charge of them while they are here on earth and what I HUGE blessing that really is. There is no greater calling then to be a mother. It also has really made me think a lot about the gospel and what it really means to be a part of it and about what faith is and putting your trust in the lord.

While being around Heather you can feel that beautiful spirit that Hadlee brings, I have a whole new respect for her. I thought she was so great before but she is even greater now and so AMAZING. I admire her strength and courage to move forward with trust in the lord and faith and the knowledge that she will be with her Hadlee again and that Heavenly Father had a plan for her family. Heather you have strengthened me and same with Hadlee. I could feel her sweet spirit when I read about her, or when I was around you, Heather. You will be able to take that with you forever and touch every life you meet. I am so very proud to be your friend... I feel so very lucky, You have always been such a great friend to me and I will always be grateful for that. I love you!!!! You and your awesome family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Love You so much!!!!!

1-11-11

Today is 1-11-11 pretty sweet..

School started yesterday and I am pretty happy about it. I am taking Math 0900 and English 2010. I had to start all over with my math since it had been over two years since i had taken a math class, oh well I suck at math and could use the refresher, I' a slow kid. Maybe this English course will help me with my writing skills, I am lacking quite a bit..But I am tired right now and being super lazy so whatev...I am actually excited to go back even though there is a LOT of work ahead of me I know I can do it and I know it will be well worth my time. I had to go to work right after school yesterday because I was filling in for someone who was sick. After my day was over and I went home I thought to myself "man I am so glad I made the decision to go PRN at work" (prn means as neededbut I only work wed, and right now I wish I didnt' even do that- I LOVE LOVE LOVE being home...but it is nice to get out and see my coworkers once and a while) There is no way I would be able to do that again-work full time and go to school with my two kids, My kids are the ones who get neglected and that is totally backwards. I just remember the stress of being at work when I wished I was at home with my family or at home working on my homework while the kids slept. and how bad I felt for leaving them and being away from them killed me..Either way I am a HOME body. I know Brookie is too because today at the doc she kept saying home, home home before the doc even came in the room. Ps Brookie is now TWO (pic and story to come later) Yeah my baby is TWO, weird. She weighs 29 Lbs and is 35 inches tall. She is such a cutie. The doc told me that he is very impressed with her and that she is above average in her speech. He said she was on the right track and doing awesome. She is the best thing ever.

1-1-11 Happy New Year peeps

WoW Lada... flip I have seriously been so busy.. I think about my blog often, however sitting down and actually posting my life stories is another thing.. It's a new Year So Happy New Year everyone...one of my new year's resolution is to Blog More. Lets see if I can do it. I have so much to catch up on so I better get going.

Update on life right now... I just changed my working status to PRN instead of full time. Yeah we took a HUGE leap of faith and are praying the lord will take care of us as we know it is the best thing for our family for me to stay home more with the most adorable kids in the whole world. There is seriously no where else I would rather be. More to come later with LOTS of picture.

5 years

Today is our 5th year anniversary. WOW!!! 5 years....that seem like such a long time when you say out loud, but it seems like I have been with my sweetie for forever and not just 5 years. We have done so many wonderful things in the time that we have been married. We have visited family a lot, in Manti, Richmond, St. George, Idaho, Cali, Disneyland (probably the most exciting so far haha) and we even took a crazy trip to Las Vegas for our ann last year.. it is really the only trip we have taken for an anniversary or even a honeymoon.
Man someday we will get our honeymoon trip...haha No it's ok we had fun camping at Tony's Grove up Logan Canyon for out honeymoon.. we were the only ones there. Anyway.. This year we wanted to do something super fun because it was our FIFTH anniversary.. I mean that is kind of huge, right? Well the only huge thing we will be doing this year is leaving our 6 week old baby boy with the inlaws OVERNIGHT.. haha that is pretty huge. Maybe next year we can go somewhere even more huge (is that even a word) with Clarke Graduating from Grad school and such.. and maybe just maybe I'll get in the Nursing Program..cross your fingers for me.. Ok Umm I am getting way off course here.. LOL
I want my awesome husband to know how much I have grown over these years with him by my side. He has taught me so many wonderful lessons and so many things I couldn't do without. I have become a better person, MOTHER, wife, friend, sister, and most of all a daughter of god because of you babe.
I watch you with the kids and think man I married the right person... look at how those kids just LOVE you, look at how patient and kind and funny you are with them. I'm sometimes to busy to stop and do things that you do.. but I guess that is why we have different roles.
Babe you have become such a WONDERFUL father and person yourself. You work SO SO hard for us and I am so very grateful for that.
Being married to my best friend is the best thing in the whole world. I'm so happy to be married to you for forever. You make me laugh all the time..well most of the time. You understand me and are so patient with me, you help me with school so I can understand it better and are so so patient with to wait for me to get it and that is HUGE.
I love you babe so so much You are the BEST thing that ever happened to me and I couldn't be more happy to have found you in my life. Even from the first time I met you I was so comfortable with you, every time we hung out we were never shy and it was never awkward.. we knew from the beginning.
I hope the next, how ever many years to come, are even better and we continue to share our love for one another.
LOVE YOU BABE!! So....This anniversary turned out to be one of the BEST's so far... Clarke seriously seriously surprised me with the best gift ever.. he took me on a helicopter ride.. WHAT?? I had absolutely NO idea.... He just said we are going to dinner and just kept driving I thought he was headed to Hamiltons (since it's a tradition of ours, we go ever year) since we were headed in that direction... Little did I know he had other plans up his sleeve. We ended up at the Logan airport, I have never ever been more surprised in my whole life. I still had no idea what was going on but I knew we had to be flying somewhere.. at first I thought we were flying to salt lake for dinner and sleeping over night but it was even better, we walked around the corner of the building and there was a helicopter waiting for us... I was freaking out inside I think I cried.. HELLO what kind of husband did I marry.. only the best ever!!! We flew all over logan, we went up green canyon first and flew in the mtn went over Tony's Grove nd went out thro Providence Canyon.. It was so dang cool to be above everything and see what it looked like from above esp the temple. I had the best time. After the heli ride we did go to dinner at Hamiltions. So yummy. After that we went to the store to get some goodies and headed to the anniversary Inn. We stayed in the Vegas nights room. It was way cool. since we went to Las Veas last year Clarke thought it would be a nice surprise for me, it was!! We had a great 5th year anniversary! Thank you to mom and dad Alder and Celeste for watching our kids we really appreciate it!!

ONE MONTH

Peyton is one month today!! WOW! Where does time go? I can't believe it's been a month. Peyton is such a good baby and we LOVE him so much. Brookie can't get enough of him, she loves her baby brother.
He is getting so strong and growing a ton. He sleeps for about 6 hours at night...which is so awesome he has been doing this for about 1 week or so, maybe longer. Over all he has always been a really good sleeper.. We can't wait to see what the coming months will bring..